Baby Jingles

I got this little gem with the ads on Tuesday. I immediately noticed the fine craftsmanship and attention to detail. Too bad the banana doesn't come with Baby Jingles... for $30 I think they should throw in the banana. Just remember, Baby Jingles is not a toy, it's a fine collectors item.
If only Christmas were this month - I guess I can always hope for next year.

Snuggie

Finally I got junk mail worth reading! Do you ever wrap yourself up in a blanket only to discover that you've lost your hands? Well, here's the answer you've been looking for! Never again will you be forced to watch crappy commercials because your remote is trapped under the blanket. Now you've got Snuggie! It's the blanket with sleeves!

Or you could just get a sweatshirt...

Dear young people,

Please for the love of all things holy learn to write, spell, and use proper grammar. No, you can't write a note or card to grandma like your texting. Yes, you do sound like an idiot when you write in slang. And for the record, when I text I use proper grammar.
I found this on the net today while researching conditioner for my dry locks:

Q: i used to use dove conditioner.....it dind't suit my hair.......so i shifted to sunsilk .....do dey hav alcohol in dem???

A: no.................it depends....just check out d ingredients!!!!
well using conditnrs l d tim is nt healthy fr ur hair.......so make use of some natural remedies.......u can refer 2 www.AskLaila.com
maybe dis cn help u out.........wishin u a healthy hair.......

Now that you are all less intelligent having read that, have a great day. I'm off to get d vacuum out and get dem dirts of d carpets. I do nt wan dirty carpets for my moms today.

Naughty Craigslist Usage

I saw a post on craigslist last night for a female photography student in need of a blonde model with blue eyes. She did specify that the model could not be taller than 5'8" and had to be over 21 b/c the shoot would be in a bar.
She said she would pay $70 for a couple of hours. Even though I'm taller than 5'8", it's only a half inch, so I decided to try. I emailed the girl and heard back from her this morning.
Turns out she was just looking for a blonde, blue eyed girl so she could buy her ID from her, not do a photo shoot. Lame.

Seriously?

Seriously, J Crew? Really - you want us to wear this? Seriously? It's 2008, not 1985. Seriously.

UPDATE: I was watching The Cosby Show last night (aka best show ever). It was the one where Theo goes to prom with all his friends. Adam Sandler was one of his friends, and his date was wearing this exact same dress, but in pink.

big pimpin'

This is how I rolled home from church today:

Ben took the bumper of the car to use as an object lesson for sharing time today. Then after church he volunteered to switch cars so he could take Lucas home while I took care of YW stuff. As I walked to the parking lot I was greeted by this ugly car with an overbite and a tumor. Utterly embarrassed, I climbed into the driver's seat and weaved my way out of the parking lot stopping several times to explain myself. Driving home I got several stares of wonderment, but I just smacked my gum and pretended everything was normal.
It's always more embarrassing driving a car with damage to the front of the car because they people assume your the idiot who was tailgating. But in reality, I had nothing to do with the accident. Ben was stopped at a stop sign for crying out loud. The other girl was the one who didn't turn the corner in her land and knocked the bumper off.

Fetish Friday

Sometimes on F.F. I just need a good laugh. I saw this Steve Madden and immediately thought of Cosby sweaters. You could get this shoe for $99, order a Cosby sweater for $375 and you would be set. Maybe you could hang out in Pee Wees Playhouse or something because I can't think of anywhere else this would be acceptable.

it's time for the country to unite!

I read a great article in Newsweek today. It wasn't about how that young guy is too much like a celebrity or how that white-haired guy is old and senial. Instead, it was about something really important.
It is time that we all stand together and and end one of the most tragic fashion nightmares the world has ever seen. Not banana clips, not tapered jeans, but Crocs. The time has come for everyone to stop buying boat shoes and support companies whose corporate policies do not involve making people look like clowns.

*LINK TO CROC BASHING ARTICLE*

*Before you ask, yes, I have a pair of Payless crocs for Lucas, but he's not even 2 yet. They are cute on tiny feet. And you can wear them in your garden, where they were intended to stay - right next to the garden gnome.

for the record

In ABQ so far my mom and I have killed three scorpions, transported one tarantula to the other side of the fence, and killed one centipede. What the heck?

L-A-M-E

The one thing I hate about Austin is all the panhandlers. When we first moved here the number of people out on the corners was shocking. Now I'm a little used to it, but it's still really annoying. Sometimes I drive a certain way just to avoid them.
The worst panhandlers aren't even the homeless people. It's the people out trying to collect money for an organization. They will just walk into traffic at a stop light and knock on your window to get your attention, like you didn't see them in the first place. Then a lot of times they'll give you candy or water for donating. You can always trust candy from a panhandler, right?
Well, today for the 2nd time in my Austin life, I saw the most annoying type of panhandling - The Team Panhandle. This is when a soccer or basketball team wants to go to a tourney out of state and need to raise money. So, instead of doing what normal teams do in normal cities (bakes sales, candy sales, car wash, mow lawns, etc) they stand on the corner with their coaches and panhandle.
Hey, that's a great idea... Lets teach our kids a good work ethic by having them stand outside looking pathetic while getting paid for it! Come on, coaches and parents, get a life!